Bernie

Playfulness

Dogs who score high in this category are the type that are always up for a nice game of fetch or chase the cat. Make sure you’re as active as your dog. There’s no quicker way to get the dog crazy eyes than to keep them locked in the house all day. Dogs who score low in this category can be quite the wet blanket. They won’t want to go on walks, catch a Frisbee or even go out on Friday nights. I hope you’re just as boring as your dog or there could be some friction.

Accessibility

Highly accessible dogs are the best friends to have when you’re in a tough spot in your life. They may not be able to verbally respond to your problems, but their face can do all the talking. And if your life is really messed up, you might actually think they are talking to you, so win-win. An easy way to tell if your dog is not accessible is determining whether or not you can find him right now. If you can’t find your dog, you can’t access your dog.

Wit

Witty dogs know they’re never going to catch their tail. Laser pointers are a different story, but that’s just not fair. If your dog chases their tail for hours on end it mostlikely won’t be winning the Nobel Dog Prize any time soon.

Self-Confidence

If you have body image issues, a dog that scored high in this category is not for you. A self-confident dog will just make you feel worse about yourself as you two walk around and hear the whispers of “How are they together?” or “The human must be funny or something.” If, however, you have a great body and a promising future, a self-confident dog is nothing but good as you two feed of each other’s confidence and become the talk of the town.